Elliot Page Felt Like He Didn’t ‘Exist’ Before Transitioning

Elliot Page is opening up about his “trans joy” three years after coming out.

The “Umbrella Academy” actor and “Pageboy” memoirist told People magazine that he “barely made it” amid his coming out journey. Now, Page is reveling in being a trans man.

“It definitely feels a way that I never thought I would get to feel, and that mostly manifests in how present I feel, the ease I feel and the ability to exist. There’s been periods in my life where I really felt like I didn’t,” Page said. “So often it’s a lot more in the quiet moments. I think we talk about ‘trans joy’ and euphoria. So much of it is in the stillness. To have my shoulders back. I just was always kind of shut off, anxious. I used to never feel like my skin was my own.”

He added, “I realize I look different to people now who’ve known me from before, but I’m thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, there’s that person I’ve seen but never thought I’d actually get to see.’ It catches me by surprise sometimes. A friend will simply take a photo and then I get a glimpse, and it just sends this electric thrill through my body, this sort of spark. Because it’s funny — it’s seeing something new, but also not.”

Page credited Catherine Keener, Alia Shawkat, and Kristen Wiig for encouraging him to “go against the forces that were telling me to not be true.”

The “Juno” Oscar nominee addressed his own privilege as a trans actor compared to other trans people across the world.

“I do feel like I barely made it in many ways,” Page said, adding, “The privilege I have does not represent the reality of most trans lives. The reality is trans people disproportionately are unemployed, disproportionately experience homelessness. Trans women of color are being murdered. People are losing their healthcare.”

Page summed up, “When I’m walking down the street, and young people come up to me, it means the world to me. Them being themselves, having the courage to say, ‘This is who I am, and I’m going to live authentically.’”

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